I had moments in life … and i could probably even say that i had long periods of time like that … when i was always balancing between being happy and unhappy.

If someone would ask me to define my emotional life … with everything related to that … i would have absolutely no idea what is the best definition for that.

And when me and Paul were discussing about it … i’ve come up with this concept of “emotional balance” … to make it sound … nice.

Paul was laughing of me …

Not behind my back … but in front of me …

Was laughing like … he should be in front of a little silly kid … that was explaining his nonsense actions.

But what i did not realized at that time was that the influences from the outside world were dominating my soul.

And that was happening on and on and on.

Instead of being connected just with my inner world … and let that energy from there control my life … i was allowing

the outside world to influence me too much.

Until the influence itself became in fact … dominant.

Weeks were passing and nothing was changing.

Then months …

The balance itself was ruining me emotionally …. for too much time … so that i’ve decided to meditate more … on what is going on.

But i could not find any cure.

Those ugly vibes from my soul … were so, so annoying and i could not find any trick to get rid of them.

Hmm …

Maybe i was just pretending … i was not seeing the solution … cause in fact … every time i was not connected to the scene of my life … to what i’ve called … reality … i was ok.

I felt the inner calmness.

I felt … there was in fact no bad vibes into my soul … and my real problem was just the exterior influences.

Not being a psychologist … but only a simple thinker … meditating more and more … i’ve started to accept that what was defined by myself as unhappiness, bad vibes … or even depression … was in fact a signal.

A very powerful one.

And i ignored that …

The balance itself was revealing … that i’m not ok … and it’s too easy to be influenced by reality …. cause in fact i was not connected to the real source of energy for my life … which was my soul.

I did not know to manage the energies.

And i was not even recognizing … the positive or negative impact of those influences … until i felt the unhappiness

present again into my soul.

I was playing around as a silly kid … just as Paul was thinking about me.

I could simple decide … seeing it’s so damn clear that the outside universe has not a positive impact on myself … to disconnect from it.

To start practicing … the solitude … cause analyzing and accepting the statistics about my happiness … i was in fact understanding that the happiness itself was induced by my inner soul … not by the exterior factors from the stage of my life.

But as an idiot … i continued to stay on this stage … called reality … which was so, so ridiculous … cause i was knowing the secondary effects of that.

love stories

And yes … i continued on and on like that … until the day i’ve decided to automatically disconnect from any element of my reality which was inducing me bad vibes.

I tried it as an experiment … and it worked.

I tried it again … and i was so happy to see that the trick really worked.

All i needed to do … was to let my soul guide me.

Accept bad vibes … as a blessing.

As an amazing signal … for realizing the moment of disconnecting from reality … whatever that meant … had come.

But something weird happened to me.

I’ve metamorphosed myself … into a ghost.

I was appearing and disappearing from reality … in a very strange way.

The balance itself … from unhappiness to happiness and from happiness to unhappiness … became into the end the balance between being or disappearing from … the stage of life.

People around myself … started to realize that … but … i was not caring anymore about their perceptions about myself.

And i’ve started to love being … a ghost.

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