Marriage often has the goal in mind of happiness, companionship, satisfaction, support, and stability at the onset of the  marriage. However, without a unifying vision, the purpose of a relationship can be allowed to slip. Strongly identifiable marriage pressures, such as financial,  Jesus about marriage , and child-rearing stress can take over the purpose of the marriage with harmful results. To combat this negative effect of stress, each marriage partner could find a purpose that allows him or her to "rise above" these stresses. Contributing his or her unique talents and abilities in a marriage that has a unifying vision allows husbands and wives to have the potential to "rise above it all."

In each moment of a marriage crisis, take a deep breath, mentally sweep aside any outside marriage pressure and decide to focus on a goal that both you and your spouse decided to accomplish. Also, both you and your spouse could decide to establish a new vision for the marriage. That new vision for the marriage could be the very survival of the marriage. A focus on the combination of the qualitative desires of happiness, companionship, satisfaction, support, and stability with a focus on the overall vision for the marriage will allow you to escape from the "crisis perspective" in order to be able to focus on an inspirational "big picture" for the life of your marriage.

Use Your "Save Your Marriage" Instinct

If you use each "crisis instinct" constructively with good intentions, then it could become a valuable "save your marriage" instinct. It is with that in mind that I want to encourage you to neither ignore your instincts nor give up on your marriage. You do not have to give up on the dreams you and your spouse made when you started your marriage. The key to making all of this a reality for you and your spouse depends on both of your willingness to make the necessary steps to identify, solve, and continue to improve on those things that got the marriage off-course.

Identify and solve the marriage problems

If divorce has been considered or not considered, it is important to determine which reasons for conflict and marriage problems have contributed to the crisis condition of your marriage. Some marriage problem suggestions include:

Infidelity

Becoming adversaries instead of loving partners

Living in two separate worlds with nothing in common

Losing the ability to communicate effectively

Losing the desire to communicate with each other

Losing the desire to be intimate together on a regular basis

Allowing family and outside stresses to interfere with the harmony of your marriage

Allowing child-rearing commitment to replace the marriage commitment to each other